My parents are getting older and I am concerned that they may fall victim to scams, but they do not want to give up their independence by letting me help them with their finances.  How should I handle this?

You have a legitimate reason to be concerned.  Older individuals often worry that they might outlive their assets.  Because of this and other reasons, many times they may fall victim to scams, or even financial abuse by family or friends.  However, they won’t report it for fear that their children may think they are unfit to handle their finances and try to take control.  The National Center on Elder Abuse, in a 1996 study, found that elder abuse reports increased 150 percent between 1986 to 1996, and that only a small percentage of cases are reported.  There are a few things that you might consider doing to help protect against financial elder abuse:

• Have several family members be involved with your parents, seeing them regularly
• Encourage them to become involved in community and/or church related activities, which will create a support system.
• Encourage them to have their income checks deposited directly into their bank account.
• Encourage them to arrange to have certain routine, recurring bills paid directly from a bank account.
• Suggest that they consider having a CPA handle their bookkeeping and bill paying.
• Once caregivers are needed, check references very carefully and watch for changes in behavior in your parents, and attempts by the caregiver to isolate them from the family.
• Any loans made to family members or caregivers should have written documentation of the terms of the loan, and someone should make certain that the loan is being repaid according to its terms.

This is a difficult time for all involved.  However, with the support of family and friends, it can end up being the best of times.